8:40am, Saturday. I just had a call from Dean, the Harvey Norman delivery driver. They are 5 minutes out. Whoo hoo new fridge!
(Get a coffee! This is a long one. Sorry.)
Well, what an interesting morning. Friday morning. You have to get out of bed, you know. Do I really need a fridge that freezes? Could I not just tolerate the ‘cold’ produce in the refrigerator compartment? Do I really need to go outside?
I am not exaggerating. These were my real thoughts. and the accompanying emotional battle was just as real and intense.
If I buy a new fridge it has to be delivered. If it is delivered I have to allow ‘people’ into the flat. If I allow people into the flat I have to clean it. That is not an idle threat. nor an insignificant one. The kitchen, bathroom and toilet floors have not been cleaned since I moved in. I have never lived like this before. I am going to blame depression. Abandonment by previous owner and Covid shut in. I am ashamed of how I live but don’t care enough to do anything about it. Oh poor me.
Obviously, I eventually ‘shut the fark up’ and drove to Highpoint. My three potential retailers are right next to each other. Park the car centrally and take a deep breath.
First the ‘Good Guys’, they promised the best price. I slunk around the fridge section looking lost and gullible. 5 minutes and not one sales person approached. Fark you Good Guys. If I wanted to visit a self service supermarket I would have gone to Coles.
Next door. JB Hifi, Home department. Similar prices but make a big deal of their delivery and removal service. I liked that. Same deal. Slink and look like an easy mark. Ditto service. Noisy 20yo staff laughing at each others witticisms. Again, I gave them 5 minutes. No action. I walked.
Harvey Norman. I don’t like them. I don’t like what they are. I don’t like how they are trying to control the retail market. and they screw their customers. Let us not talk about how they totally equipped my flat with everything I needed back in 2019. Everything! Fridge, bed, TV, PC, Washing machine (dryer).
Same game. Looking lost and gullible. 2 minutes! 30yo (ish) Mohamed approached me. I turned, clasped his hand and before he had time to say a word, told him he just sold a fridge. He looked confused and just a little scared. “But I haven’t done my sales spiel” he thought. “Haven’t shown him our magnificent range of quality appliances.”
I walked him directly to the fridge I wanted. ‘Is it in the warehouse?’ ‘When can I get delivery’.
“Yes” and “Tomorrow”. SOLD! I then let him charge me an extra $200 for delivery and extended 5 yr replacement guarantee. Even without haggling he gave me $25 discount. Golly I am hard customer.
My Apple Watch swiped the eftpos machine. As I walked from the store the relief washed through and over me like a warm shower. I was close to tears, yet again. Geez I am so farked up.
I celebrated with a black coffee and a bottle of OJ, accompanied by a piggy, American sized serve of Eggs Benedict. Oh dear Beatrice, when did we stop eating human sized portions?
and here we are. 9:15am, Saturday. Dean and Alberto have just left, taking my freshly cleaned fridge with them. It was a ‘stainless’ silver model with bottom mount, three tray freezer. I liked it, very much. It was soooo convenient not to bend to get your food. I rarely used the freezer. Just for ice, for iced coffee and occasional ice cream or icy pops.
It is replaced by a (oh so common and ordinary) white model with traditional top mount freezer. I will not lie. I am disappointed to lose the stainless. It let me think I am a bit different. But, what the fark. A fridge is a fridge is a fridge. Am I right or am I right? I am not even gonna bother changing the doors from right opening to left opening. You are not special Tony. Just do it like everyone else does. Wanker!
Now I have to put the food back into the new fridge. Awww excitement.
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